With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, I seem to be getting more and more sentimental. Thoughts of wishing I could have all my little ducklings under one roof. I know I should be thankful to have 6 out 7 with me but still, it just isn't the same without them all. Missing my sweet Mama bossing me around her kitchen and then complaining about how she did all the work and that she wasn't going to do it again only to do it time and time again for many more years. Childhood Thanksgivings at Grandpa Graves house, climbing on haystacks in the barn with my cousins and realizing that my brothers and I weren't the only animals in the family. I can't help but wonder what it is my own children are going to think of and if their memories will bring a smile to their face as mine have done for me. What, if anything, have I taught them or have shown them of being thankful not only at this time of the year but throughout the entire year.
One of my fondest memories at Thanksgiving is of my Mother and her open and giving heart. She never failed to not only prepare an amazing dinner but also had this unique ability to find & invite someone that didn't have anywhere to go at Thanksgiving and make them feel as if they were one of her own. We affectionately referred to the extra chair at the table as the seat for Mom's Stray.
Mom's strays ranged from my brother's roommate that couldn't make it home for the holidays to a young couple from church whose family couldn't make into town to see them. We once had a young man that was a complete stranger to us all but Mom had heard that he & his parents were having difficulties and was asked to leave the home. The idea of that young man not having a home cooked meal at Thanksgiving was more than Mom could bare. Of course though, being the woman she was she called this boys parents to clear it with them. She never wanted to rock the boat. We had extended family members that while not related by blood were family as far as my Mother was concerned. Mom, in her quiet way, never missed an opportunity to reach out to others and give them a sense of family. The amazing thing is, after Thanksgiving and for many years down the road, Mom would continue to hear from her special invites and they often thanked her for the day she had made them feel apart of her family.
So as I sit and get misty and emotional about Thanksgiving & of what I feel I am missing out on, I have to say I have so much more to be Thankful for. I have a lifetime of wonderful memories of my Mother and of her example of giving, graciousness and love that she not only gave my family and I but also to her special strays throughout the years. God blessed her with the gift of giving and it is during this time that I am thankful that I was a witness to her faithfulness to her Lord and to hear family.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Remembering
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. ~Isaiah 41:13
Monday, November 8, 2010
Create a Memory a Day
As adults we often like to refer back to our childhood to teach our children a lesson. We share our memories or certain events in our lives to prove to them that we too, were young once. It's the thing parents do. It's our way to prove to our children and to ourselves that we actually had a life before them! I though, do not have those memories.
I have struggled for most of my adult life, trying to figure out why it is I don't remember my childhood. I know I had one! At least that's what my brothers tell me. I do have glimpses or flashes as some call it but nothing that seems real to me. In fact, there have been times that I have called my brother Kevin, knowing he must think that I was crazy, just to ask him, if something I THOUGHT happened, actually happened. It is Kevin that, without knowing it, has helped to put some pieces of my puzzle together.
While I can recall my elementary school friends, school activities and such, it is life at home that I have struggled with and for me, that has been the toughest part. You see, we lost our mother in 2001 and it was at that time that regaining these memories became more and more important to me. So many questions run through my mind. Why don't I remember? Why don't the stories that my brothers share sound familiar? It's as if they are talking about someone else's life. Not mine. Not me but another little girl.
Now, let me set the record straight, I do have a few memories. For example: The clock I gave my brothers for Christmas one year. I wanted to see if it worked SO I wound it up and THEN wrapped it. The boys, as usual, were giving me a hard time, they heard the box ticking, said "We know what it is!" to which my response was "IT'S NOT A CLOCK!" To this day, they still tease me about that. I also remember a HORRIBLE babysitter we had. Actually, I think she was probably a pretty good babysitter and we were HORRIBLE children. We were terrible one day, my brother Kevin especially (sorry Kev). To teach Kevin a lesson for not listening to her, she locked him out of the house. Exactly what he wanted to happen I might add. To this day, I still can see Kevin's head bobbing up and down outside the kitchen window taunting this poor young woman as she pulled her hair out trying to deal with us, (excuse me a minute while I laugh). I remember the house I grew up in. I remember the day my mother married our step dad but that is where it stops. All I know is that my memories, with my family, stop at 5 years old.
This for me, while it may not sound like a problem to you, has been heartbreaking for me. While Craig and I have sat at the dinner table with the children, there have been many times Craig has told the children about his childhood adventures and I have to say, I have been envious. At the same time though, not remembering has made me purposely create lasting memories for our children. In our family we say, "Everyday is a day of memories" and it is because of that attitude and my lack of my own memories that the children, one by one, can share what their favorite time, thus far, has been.
Our oldest daughter Helen has said that her favorite memory is she and I, digging through the couch cushions for extra change so that we could drive down to 'Hot n Now' for a large Pepsi and large french fry that we would later share. While that might sound sad, it's nothing but smiles for us. Our son CJ will tell you, that his favorite memory is walking through the front door after school, the first week after I quit my job to stay home and take care of he and his sisters, and smelled chocolate chip cookies baking. His first words to me as he ran into the house was "So this is what it's like to have a Mom waiting for you at home." Still makes me cry. Melissa will tell you that she loves thinking about hiding in grandma's azalea bushes, sitting in the dirt with a bucket digging a hole. Simple but it makes her smile. Candace, well, her memory would be of Daddy scaring her has she sat on the potty. She wet her pants that night and we have never seen Craig laugh as hard since. Nicholas, he has a wonderful memory of laying in bed with grandma sharing a package of Starbursts. It's a picture that I will never get out of my head. Deborah and Matthew, even as young as they are, will tell you that their favorite is the day they got to see Lucy, our beagle, have her first litter of puppies. They sat and watched every last puppy come into this world. It was an amazing night.
There are many, many others and so many more memories to create but it is because we purposely create a memory a day that I have been able to let go of what I don't recall and concentrate on what I have now. The loss of my past still haunts me. I still wonder why and wish that it weren't this way but what Craig and I have created with our children makes what could have been, not so important anymore.
If you are a parent with children still in the home or even a grandparent, aunt uncle or guardian, make a point of, creating a memory a day, if not for you, for the children. I promise you, the rewards you receive in turn, will make it worth it all.
The Traditional, making of Dad's Thanksgiving stuffing.
I have struggled for most of my adult life, trying to figure out why it is I don't remember my childhood. I know I had one! At least that's what my brothers tell me. I do have glimpses or flashes as some call it but nothing that seems real to me. In fact, there have been times that I have called my brother Kevin, knowing he must think that I was crazy, just to ask him, if something I THOUGHT happened, actually happened. It is Kevin that, without knowing it, has helped to put some pieces of my puzzle together.
Now, let me set the record straight, I do have a few memories. For example: The clock I gave my brothers for Christmas one year. I wanted to see if it worked SO I wound it up and THEN wrapped it. The boys, as usual, were giving me a hard time, they heard the box ticking, said "We know what it is!" to which my response was "IT'S NOT A CLOCK!" To this day, they still tease me about that. I also remember a HORRIBLE babysitter we had. Actually, I think she was probably a pretty good babysitter and we were HORRIBLE children. We were terrible one day, my brother Kevin especially (sorry Kev). To teach Kevin a lesson for not listening to her, she locked him out of the house. Exactly what he wanted to happen I might add. To this day, I still can see Kevin's head bobbing up and down outside the kitchen window taunting this poor young woman as she pulled her hair out trying to deal with us, (excuse me a minute while I laugh). I remember the house I grew up in. I remember the day my mother married our step dad but that is where it stops. All I know is that my memories, with my family, stop at 5 years old.
This for me, while it may not sound like a problem to you, has been heartbreaking for me. While Craig and I have sat at the dinner table with the children, there have been many times Craig has told the children about his childhood adventures and I have to say, I have been envious. At the same time though, not remembering has made me purposely create lasting memories for our children. In our family we say, "Everyday is a day of memories" and it is because of that attitude and my lack of my own memories that the children, one by one, can share what their favorite time, thus far, has been.
Our oldest daughter Helen has said that her favorite memory is she and I, digging through the couch cushions for extra change so that we could drive down to 'Hot n Now' for a large Pepsi and large french fry that we would later share. While that might sound sad, it's nothing but smiles for us. Our son CJ will tell you, that his favorite memory is walking through the front door after school, the first week after I quit my job to stay home and take care of he and his sisters, and smelled chocolate chip cookies baking. His first words to me as he ran into the house was "So this is what it's like to have a Mom waiting for you at home." Still makes me cry. Melissa will tell you that she loves thinking about hiding in grandma's azalea bushes, sitting in the dirt with a bucket digging a hole. Simple but it makes her smile. Candace, well, her memory would be of Daddy scaring her has she sat on the potty. She wet her pants that night and we have never seen Craig laugh as hard since. Nicholas, he has a wonderful memory of laying in bed with grandma sharing a package of Starbursts. It's a picture that I will never get out of my head. Deborah and Matthew, even as young as they are, will tell you that their favorite is the day they got to see Lucy, our beagle, have her first litter of puppies. They sat and watched every last puppy come into this world. It was an amazing night.
There are many, many others and so many more memories to create but it is because we purposely create a memory a day that I have been able to let go of what I don't recall and concentrate on what I have now. The loss of my past still haunts me. I still wonder why and wish that it weren't this way but what Craig and I have created with our children makes what could have been, not so important anymore.
If you are a parent with children still in the home or even a grandparent, aunt uncle or guardian, make a point of, creating a memory a day, if not for you, for the children. I promise you, the rewards you receive in turn, will make it worth it all.
The Traditional, making of Dad's Thanksgiving stuffing.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Older!? Me!?
Recently my beautiful niece, Stacey posted something on her Facebook page that gave me a laugh. She shared how she had gone to church that Sunday morning where they were announcing a young girls 16th birthday. Stacey shared that she could help but feel 'old' when she realized that she had taught this girl in Sunday School when this now 16 yr old was 11. Old? Stacey is a mere 25 yrs old. She has so much to learn about 'feeling' old.
I will share with you what I shared with Stacey...Having our first child at 18 years old, I was always the youngest mother, the youngest wife and the youngest it seemed, at any event I attended. I remember not enjoying it at the time because the 'Older' women always had some sort of words of wisdom for me. It was as if they felt I didn't know anything about life. At the time, it was very irritating. Now the child I had at 18 yrs old is thirty and there have been six children added to our family since her birth. I haven't been able to figure out if it was Me that was older or my children getting older....Until recently.
I have been helping out at our church babysitting for the MOPS group in our area. For those that don't know, MOPS stands for 'Mothers of Pre-Schoolers'. They are a national group of Moms that meet once a month to share and compare notes about their lives, loves and children. Recently, a friend came to me and asked me to be a mentor to these Moms of Pre-Schoolers. What you need to know is, a couple of these 'young' mothers are actually my friends. So, that being said, I thought to myself, "Wow! What a great idea!" I figured I could hang with my 'girlfriends' and really enjoy the time spent. WELL! I really need to stop talking to myself and shutting out the things that people are trying to tell me because I seem to have missed one important part of this friends sentence. What I was actually asked was "We would like you to be a mentor to the MOPS. I think you would be a great addition. (patting myself on the back) They really need OLDER WOMEN that have had life experiences like you." WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?! DID YOU JUST USE THE WORDS 'OLDER WOMAN' TO DESCRIBE ME?! In my head......I heard the brakes of a cartoon bus going off. An alarm started ringing in my head and suddenly, I felt the need to drink a bottle of Geritol! Me....an Older Woman? When did that happen?
I have always been told that I don't act my age and I have always taken it as a compliment. I am always the person that the 20 something crowd navigates to and thought it was just because I was so young at heart. Now though, since this eye opening event, I realize that it isn't my young at heart attitude and the fact that I relate to them,that the Young One's come to me, it's because they see me as an Older Woman! Someone with Experience! Someone that can share events in her life that may be able to direct these people of the YOUNGER GENERATION down the right path! LOL When did this happen and why didn't anyone tell me?!?!?!
I'm looking at turning 50 this next year. It doesn't bother me in the least. I have actually been looking forward to it. I feel that after everything I have been through in the last last several years, I deserve 50! 50, for me, says that I have a right to be just who I am with no excuses needed. I may be 50 chronologically but mentally, I still felt 30. Yes, I said FELT, LOL I was fine up until the point that it was made painfully obvious that I was OLD. I ask again....WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!
I will admit, I have seen the deeper lines along my eyes. I have chalked them up to having a happy life. The gray hair, well, It has been something inherited from my fathers side of the family. Not being able to keep up with my kids just meant that they were growing and getting faster. Looks like now, I have been trying to ignore the fact that I have been getting older! 'Yes Lynn, the aging fairy has pounded you with her old age wand and there is no going back' LOL
Well, I guess I'm not the only one in this boat. In fact, if I am not mistaken, I have a Facebook page full of friends that will all be turning 50 this next year and correct me if I am wrong, but I think there are a couple that are already there! The things is, I don't see any of them as old! There are a few that I wish I could squeeze the staying young gene out of them and mix it in my coffee every morning.I'm just thankful I'm not the only one in this boat. I'm happy to see that there are those among me that feel 30 but are hitting 50. It also comforts me to know that I do have friends that are considered 'Older' and what a blessing it is to be able to become wiser, more experienced and happier as the years go on, together.
I will share with you what I shared with Stacey...Having our first child at 18 years old, I was always the youngest mother, the youngest wife and the youngest it seemed, at any event I attended. I remember not enjoying it at the time because the 'Older' women always had some sort of words of wisdom for me. It was as if they felt I didn't know anything about life. At the time, it was very irritating. Now the child I had at 18 yrs old is thirty and there have been six children added to our family since her birth. I haven't been able to figure out if it was Me that was older or my children getting older....Until recently.
I have been helping out at our church babysitting for the MOPS group in our area. For those that don't know, MOPS stands for 'Mothers of Pre-Schoolers'. They are a national group of Moms that meet once a month to share and compare notes about their lives, loves and children. Recently, a friend came to me and asked me to be a mentor to these Moms of Pre-Schoolers. What you need to know is, a couple of these 'young' mothers are actually my friends. So, that being said, I thought to myself, "Wow! What a great idea!" I figured I could hang with my 'girlfriends' and really enjoy the time spent. WELL! I really need to stop talking to myself and shutting out the things that people are trying to tell me because I seem to have missed one important part of this friends sentence. What I was actually asked was "We would like you to be a mentor to the MOPS. I think you would be a great addition. (patting myself on the back) They really need OLDER WOMEN that have had life experiences like you." WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?!?!?! DID YOU JUST USE THE WORDS 'OLDER WOMAN' TO DESCRIBE ME?! In my head......I heard the brakes of a cartoon bus going off. An alarm started ringing in my head and suddenly, I felt the need to drink a bottle of Geritol! Me....an Older Woman? When did that happen?
I have always been told that I don't act my age and I have always taken it as a compliment. I am always the person that the 20 something crowd navigates to and thought it was just because I was so young at heart. Now though, since this eye opening event, I realize that it isn't my young at heart attitude and the fact that I relate to them,that the Young One's come to me, it's because they see me as an Older Woman! Someone with Experience! Someone that can share events in her life that may be able to direct these people of the YOUNGER GENERATION down the right path! LOL When did this happen and why didn't anyone tell me?!?!?!
I'm looking at turning 50 this next year. It doesn't bother me in the least. I have actually been looking forward to it. I feel that after everything I have been through in the last last several years, I deserve 50! 50, for me, says that I have a right to be just who I am with no excuses needed. I may be 50 chronologically but mentally, I still felt 30. Yes, I said FELT, LOL I was fine up until the point that it was made painfully obvious that I was OLD. I ask again....WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!
I will admit, I have seen the deeper lines along my eyes. I have chalked them up to having a happy life. The gray hair, well, It has been something inherited from my fathers side of the family. Not being able to keep up with my kids just meant that they were growing and getting faster. Looks like now, I have been trying to ignore the fact that I have been getting older! 'Yes Lynn, the aging fairy has pounded you with her old age wand and there is no going back' LOL
Well, I guess I'm not the only one in this boat. In fact, if I am not mistaken, I have a Facebook page full of friends that will all be turning 50 this next year and correct me if I am wrong, but I think there are a couple that are already there! The things is, I don't see any of them as old! There are a few that I wish I could squeeze the staying young gene out of them and mix it in my coffee every morning.I'm just thankful I'm not the only one in this boat. I'm happy to see that there are those among me that feel 30 but are hitting 50. It also comforts me to know that I do have friends that are considered 'Older' and what a blessing it is to be able to become wiser, more experienced and happier as the years go on, together.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
What time is the Right time?
When I first started writing my blog, I imagined it being a way for me to share our families antics with loved ones. I never thought it would be a place to share my heart but recently, my heart is all I seem to be able write about. My heart, today, is heavy, for many reasons. Not all I wish to share. There is one burden in particular, that I feel led to write about. I guess you could say it is something that the Lord has asked me to write on His behalf. So, as you read, know that this is not from me but from the the Father who loves us all, more than could ever be imagined. Only He knows who it is written for...
We put God off saying "I still have time" but your time is in HIS Hands. You have no control over 'your time'. Imagine this being the last day of the rest of your life...Where would your eternity be spent? Would you be celebrating in Heaven with your loved ones that have gone on before you? Why jeopardize that celebration? Make today, the start of a new life in HIM.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Where is your grace?
Lately, I have seen a post on Facebook making the rounds that has really offended me. Not because it related to me or that it affected me in any way but it does show just how small minded some people can be. The post reads as follows:
Regarding the mosque near ground zero, I say let them build it. But across the street, we should put a topless bar, called "You Mecca Me Hot", Next to that, a gay bar called "The Turban Cowboy" and next to that, a pork-rib restaurant called "Iraq o' Ribs?" And a check cashing center called ..."Iran out of money" Lets see who's ......really tolerant! Repost if you agree !!!
I understand the controversy about ground zero and the building of the mosque but what I don't understand is why we have all seemed to forget that the whole idea that people flock to the U.S. from other countries is because we are a free nation & we have always been a nation tolerant of one an others differences. This post, for me at least reads, 'Hey! I'm an ignorant American who believes that everyone that is of the Muslim Faith is a terrorist'.
One of my dearest friends is Muslim. She is one of the most generous, sweet and upfront women you will ever meet. She and her husband have an amazing marriage and their children are an example of two completely different backgrounds becoming one. So, when I see the news and hear the remarks that people make about those of the Muslim Faith, it truly saddens me.
My family and I are of the Southern Baptist Faith. We believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, coming to this world to die for our sins. We believe in a Lord that sat and ate with those coming from different faiths, walks of life and honestly, those who lived down right sinful lives. These, are the people He loved and reached out to. The Lord showed a heart of tolerance and grace. He listened with an open heart and He gave as much love to those who turned their backs on Him as He showed to His disciples. While He may have not agreed with their beliefs, He loved them all the same. He prayed for their souls in hopes that they would turn from their sins and follow Him. Is this not the example that we should be showing now? I understand the fear. I understand the pain but what I don't understand is lumping all these people into one group.
The ground that they want to build this mosque on is said to be 'Hallowed Ground'. Why? Because it is near the site of the bombing? What makes that hallowed ground? Hallowed ground, for me, would be where the bombing happened or where a war was fought, lost or won. Where a Christian Man stood for a group of people in hopes to find them equal rights or better yet, where a mother selfishly gave birth to an innocent child that would she knew would some day give His life for you and I. That is Hallowed Ground. That is a placed that should be protected.
I don't begin to understand those of the Muslim faith. What I do know about it, I don't agree. As I said before, I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. He came to this world to die for our sins and there is and never was another God before Him. I have one book that I read, the Bible, and believe it to be true. I don't need to read another book in order to interpret the Bible. The Bible is the pure word of the Lord. That being said, I am also of the belief that I am not to shut out those of other faiths. How am I, as a child of God, going to bring other's to Him if I run off anyone that doesn't believe as I do? What example are we setting if we 'terrorize' these people with our protests or refuse to let them build their place of worship? After all, isn't this exactly why people come to America? Aren't we in the land of the free? If so, then someone explain to me what the problem is, in building this mosque?
Yes, there are Muslims that are terrorists but there are Irish terrorists, there are American terrorists, and so on and so on. Yes, there are terrorists that want to hurt the United States but honestly people, is every Muslim in the U.S. a terrorist? NO! Please, let's stop placing posts on Social Networks that group all of these people into one group. I believe, if you truly search your heart, you too will find that you know someone of the Muslim faith that you know, is not and will never be a terrorist's and deserves to live and worship freely as we all do.
Regarding the mosque near ground zero, I say let them build it. But across the street, we should put a topless bar, called "You Mecca Me Hot", Next to that, a gay bar called "The Turban Cowboy" and next to that, a pork-rib restaurant called "Iraq o' Ribs?" And a check cashing center called ..."Iran out of money" Lets see who's ......really tolerant! Repost if you agree !!!
I understand the controversy about ground zero and the building of the mosque but what I don't understand is why we have all seemed to forget that the whole idea that people flock to the U.S. from other countries is because we are a free nation & we have always been a nation tolerant of one an others differences. This post, for me at least reads, 'Hey! I'm an ignorant American who believes that everyone that is of the Muslim Faith is a terrorist'.
One of my dearest friends is Muslim. She is one of the most generous, sweet and upfront women you will ever meet. She and her husband have an amazing marriage and their children are an example of two completely different backgrounds becoming one. So, when I see the news and hear the remarks that people make about those of the Muslim Faith, it truly saddens me.
My family and I are of the Southern Baptist Faith. We believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, coming to this world to die for our sins. We believe in a Lord that sat and ate with those coming from different faiths, walks of life and honestly, those who lived down right sinful lives. These, are the people He loved and reached out to. The Lord showed a heart of tolerance and grace. He listened with an open heart and He gave as much love to those who turned their backs on Him as He showed to His disciples. While He may have not agreed with their beliefs, He loved them all the same. He prayed for their souls in hopes that they would turn from their sins and follow Him. Is this not the example that we should be showing now? I understand the fear. I understand the pain but what I don't understand is lumping all these people into one group.
The ground that they want to build this mosque on is said to be 'Hallowed Ground'. Why? Because it is near the site of the bombing? What makes that hallowed ground? Hallowed ground, for me, would be where the bombing happened or where a war was fought, lost or won. Where a Christian Man stood for a group of people in hopes to find them equal rights or better yet, where a mother selfishly gave birth to an innocent child that would she knew would some day give His life for you and I. That is Hallowed Ground. That is a placed that should be protected.
I don't begin to understand those of the Muslim faith. What I do know about it, I don't agree. As I said before, I am a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. He came to this world to die for our sins and there is and never was another God before Him. I have one book that I read, the Bible, and believe it to be true. I don't need to read another book in order to interpret the Bible. The Bible is the pure word of the Lord. That being said, I am also of the belief that I am not to shut out those of other faiths. How am I, as a child of God, going to bring other's to Him if I run off anyone that doesn't believe as I do? What example are we setting if we 'terrorize' these people with our protests or refuse to let them build their place of worship? After all, isn't this exactly why people come to America? Aren't we in the land of the free? If so, then someone explain to me what the problem is, in building this mosque?
Yes, there are Muslims that are terrorists but there are Irish terrorists, there are American terrorists, and so on and so on. Yes, there are terrorists that want to hurt the United States but honestly people, is every Muslim in the U.S. a terrorist? NO! Please, let's stop placing posts on Social Networks that group all of these people into one group. I believe, if you truly search your heart, you too will find that you know someone of the Muslim faith that you know, is not and will never be a terrorist's and deserves to live and worship freely as we all do.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Hello!?!? I can hear you!!!!
As I sat in a crowded Doctor's office today, I was privileged(?) to be a part of three different conversations. Not that I was IN the conversations but I was allowed to HEAR one side of three different conversations. Not only was I given this opportunity but the entire room was given the chance to experience all the drama going on in these people lives. Yes, as you guessed, three individual people, on their cell phones, all at the same time.
I think what really puzzled me is, not one of these people whispered! I mean, come one! Why in the world would you allow the entire office to hear how 'Andrae needs to take care of his' or 'You just drive that to show off' or 'Are you not listening to me? I just said she needs to kick her out'. It's not that I wasn't entertained but honestly, do they not care how crazy we all thought they sounded? Hello? Have you not heard of TEXTING?
I pretty much get irritated when anyone is on their cell in a public place talking as if they are sitting on their sofa at home talking to their friends. I was in the grocery store, standing behind a gal who was on her cell, obviously upset with her boyfriend and was sharing it not only with the person on the other end of the phone but with the entire line. As it became her turn to have her groceries checked out, she didn't even have the courtesy of hanging up her phone or at least acknowledge the gal ringing up her groceries. She paid, gathered up her bags and continued to talk about her 'Man' never saying thank you or at least grunting the fact that someone had just said to her 'Thank you and have a nice day'. Have these phones sucked our manners out of our ears?
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my cell phone. I am an avid 'texter'. I know all the cute little symbols, the LOL's, the BRB's, the TTYL's but there is a limit to where I am going to talk, how loud or how long. I want to scream at these people "Use the manners your mama taught you!" There has to be a rule book out there somewhere like, 'Cell Phone Manner's for Dummies'.
So, the next time you're on a cell in a quiet doctor's office, standing in line somewhere with people in front and behind you or walking around a store having a conversation on your cell, please I beg you, remember that you are not the only person in the room. Lower your voice, text them instead, hang up the phone or just acknowledge that there is a world around you having to listen. While sharing is nice, some things don't need to be shared.
I think what really puzzled me is, not one of these people whispered! I mean, come one! Why in the world would you allow the entire office to hear how 'Andrae needs to take care of his' or 'You just drive that to show off' or 'Are you not listening to me? I just said she needs to kick her out'. It's not that I wasn't entertained but honestly, do they not care how crazy we all thought they sounded? Hello? Have you not heard of TEXTING?
I pretty much get irritated when anyone is on their cell in a public place talking as if they are sitting on their sofa at home talking to their friends. I was in the grocery store, standing behind a gal who was on her cell, obviously upset with her boyfriend and was sharing it not only with the person on the other end of the phone but with the entire line. As it became her turn to have her groceries checked out, she didn't even have the courtesy of hanging up her phone or at least acknowledge the gal ringing up her groceries. She paid, gathered up her bags and continued to talk about her 'Man' never saying thank you or at least grunting the fact that someone had just said to her 'Thank you and have a nice day'. Have these phones sucked our manners out of our ears?
Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE my cell phone. I am an avid 'texter'. I know all the cute little symbols, the LOL's, the BRB's, the TTYL's but there is a limit to where I am going to talk, how loud or how long. I want to scream at these people "Use the manners your mama taught you!" There has to be a rule book out there somewhere like, 'Cell Phone Manner's for Dummies'.
So, the next time you're on a cell in a quiet doctor's office, standing in line somewhere with people in front and behind you or walking around a store having a conversation on your cell, please I beg you, remember that you are not the only person in the room. Lower your voice, text them instead, hang up the phone or just acknowledge that there is a world around you having to listen. While sharing is nice, some things don't need to be shared.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Take it from a Crazy Woman!
I think we all have had times in our lives when, for whatever reason, we were struggling and we didn't think we could get through. Hearts are heavy, outlook seems bleak and no matter how comforting our friends and family may be at the time, we felt as if there was no way out. How do you deal with situations like this? Do you run and hide? Do you meet them head on? Do you seek help or even just cry out to the Lord? Dealing with stresses can be overwhelming and without someone to turn to, you can hit a wall of depression and sadness that you may not be able to recover from.Gosh, how depressing this all seems! I share this though to say, We have all been there! There is no one, not one person that has had a smooth road. No one person that has not had some type of pain in their lives that they didn't think they could get out of. Some people are better at hiding their pain. Some people refuse to face their trials and would rather ignore them hoping that, in time, it will all go away on it's own. I for one, am guilty of them all. It took me years to learn how to not let my emotions control my decision's and find a clearer and more perfect way in facing my worries. Not to say that I don't have worries. I still cry, I still wonder but I can honestly say that my problems and my stress have been lessened because I have been able to rely on the one person in my life that I know will always be there to get me through. I like to call him Lord. He's my best friend. He's my comforter and the one 'person' I know I can turn to that will not steer me wrong.
I can't begin to tell you, how many times, in the past, my sweet husband had found me balled up in a corner, crying because I could not see how our lives were ever going to be right again. You see, after my mother's passing, so many changes took place and most, were unexpected changes that literally changed our world. At one point I just knew that God had decided that loosing one parent wasn't enough so he took another, though not by death, to teach me some sort of lesson. I spent years trying to figure out just what that lesson was. So many years wasted being angry over circumstances that I had no control over and so many years not seeing that, while I may have been hurting, the Lord was only trying to get my attention. He was trying to show me that, the lessons my amazing mother had taught me so many years ago about His Love, His Comfort and His ability to carry you through when you knew you couldn't go on any more, were absolutely true. Not that things got better but they got easier.
In the last 6 years, my sweet Craig became ill. Due to his illness, he was no longer able to work. No work, no health insurance. No health insurance, treatments were paid for out of pocket. In time, we lost our home, our vehicles, our savings, most of our possessions but we never lost hope. It was the one thing that we could hold on to. Had we not had that hope in the Lord, I don't think we would be where we are today. Don't get me wrong, things are not any easier today. I have seen my husband go from this physically strong man to someone who has to rely on others for help. That, has been the toughest for me and also for him. Craig only received his diagnosis within the last few months (Which now means he can finally get the treatment he needs and deserves and also, he will now be eligible for money that he put into the system for so many years). But still, the belief that the Lord has a plan and we know that He wants nothing but the best for us, is what sees us through. Once we put our trust in Him. Once we handed control over to Him. Once we learned that He had our best interest at heart and there was nothing we could do that was going to be better than what God was doing, life became so much easier to deal with. Let me also say that while Craig and I have always had a beautiful marriage, what we have been through, has made our marriage even stronger. I can't imagine my life without Craig.
Everyday there is a blessing. Whether it be a gift or a phone call from a friend that wants us to know that they are thinking of us and love us or a blessing through an innocent conversation with a stranger that turns your heart around. I can't imagine living any other way. Gifts of love, through the Lord Jesus Christ are awe inspiring so much so that my heart is filled with boundless joy. Yes, I still avoid answering the phone as to not have to deal with a bill collector, LOL, and I do get discouraged but because I know that God is in control, I know that the days of my husband finding me balled up in a corner crying, are over. Now, Craig finds me, going outside my comfort zone, sharing, volunteering and hopefully giving back for all that has been given to us.
OK, so you're sitting there thinking...Does this crazy person have a point to this blog or is she just rambling. Well, the answer is Yes and Yes. My point would be, if you feel you are sinking. If you feel that there is no hope. If you don't feel as if there is anyone you can turn to. Please, take the word of a completely emotional crazy woman...There is hope. There is comfort. There is someone who wants to see you through. His name is Jesus Christ. He has already given up His life for you. Now, you only need to give Your Life to Him.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Are they really beyond help?
Recently, in our local news, I heard about a 2 yr old little girl that was beaten to death by her 11 yr old babysitter. So many things bother me about this story but three questions resonate within me. First, why would any mother allow an 11 yr old child to babysit for them? Second, where was this 11 yr old's parent when she was beating this child to death and thirdly, the question that I can't stop asking myself, what makes an 11 yr old child so angry that they would commit such a crime. I feel that this is one of the questions that the authorities need to be asking themselves.
I believe that most of you know that our younger 6 children are all blessings through adoption. We didn't go through a private agency. We chose to go through the Foster Care System. This choice scared so many people. Some of the things said were "You won't know anything about their birth families", "What if there is something that you can't 'fix' within the child?" and the one question, that still, to do this day bothers me is, "Aren't the children in Foster Care beyond help?" Our oldest daughter was 15 yrs old at the time that we began the adoption process and even she was asked these bizarre questions by her peers. For us, we couldn't imagine not going through this process. Now, I'm not saying that we didn't have fears but we knew that with love and lots of patience, we, as a family, could get through any challenge that our 'children in waiting' could throw our way.
We didn't have to wait very long before our family started coming together. We were well aware of the struggles ahead and we knew that is wasn't going to be easy. For those that doubted, we felt we needed to prove to them that these 'Broken Children' with the 'Unknown Pasts' were worthy of not only our love but were also deserving of a fresh start. Ghosts of the past could be put to rest and a bright future was at their fingertips.
Our children have proven time and time again, what love, stability and just plain ol' happiness can do for a child. If they were, as friends and family described, 'broken' before, there surely is no sign of it now. I think this is why this news story has bothered me so much. I question what has happened in this child's home. What happened to her that would cause so much anger and what, if any, did her mother do to get her help. I say this because, this type of anger doesn't happen all at once. There had to have been other situations that would have set off an alarm in this mother's head. Was she in denial? Did she just brush it off as typical behavior? I can't wrap my mind around it. It's proof to me that these so called 'broken' children don't exist only in Foster Care but are in many homes, in many walks of life and with their birth families. If I learned anything from this story it's that we all can influence a child's life and hopefully change their future.
Hug your children today people. Thank the Lord that you haven't had to suffer such a tragedy and more so than anything else, if you have a chance to give back, get involved in a child's life that you feel needs more stability, more love and more happiness.
I believe that most of you know that our younger 6 children are all blessings through adoption. We didn't go through a private agency. We chose to go through the Foster Care System. This choice scared so many people. Some of the things said were "You won't know anything about their birth families", "What if there is something that you can't 'fix' within the child?" and the one question, that still, to do this day bothers me is, "Aren't the children in Foster Care beyond help?" Our oldest daughter was 15 yrs old at the time that we began the adoption process and even she was asked these bizarre questions by her peers. For us, we couldn't imagine not going through this process. Now, I'm not saying that we didn't have fears but we knew that with love and lots of patience, we, as a family, could get through any challenge that our 'children in waiting' could throw our way.
We didn't have to wait very long before our family started coming together. We were well aware of the struggles ahead and we knew that is wasn't going to be easy. For those that doubted, we felt we needed to prove to them that these 'Broken Children' with the 'Unknown Pasts' were worthy of not only our love but were also deserving of a fresh start. Ghosts of the past could be put to rest and a bright future was at their fingertips.
Our children have proven time and time again, what love, stability and just plain ol' happiness can do for a child. If they were, as friends and family described, 'broken' before, there surely is no sign of it now. I think this is why this news story has bothered me so much. I question what has happened in this child's home. What happened to her that would cause so much anger and what, if any, did her mother do to get her help. I say this because, this type of anger doesn't happen all at once. There had to have been other situations that would have set off an alarm in this mother's head. Was she in denial? Did she just brush it off as typical behavior? I can't wrap my mind around it. It's proof to me that these so called 'broken' children don't exist only in Foster Care but are in many homes, in many walks of life and with their birth families. If I learned anything from this story it's that we all can influence a child's life and hopefully change their future.
Hug your children today people. Thank the Lord that you haven't had to suffer such a tragedy and more so than anything else, if you have a chance to give back, get involved in a child's life that you feel needs more stability, more love and more happiness.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Help! Let me out!
I want to thank everyone for the sweet comments sent regarding my first blog post. Matthew's birthday brought a wide range of emotions for me and writing, for me, is my therapy. I have been told and shared with others, I have a tortured writer inside me begging to be released. With my life being as busy as it is though, there isn't a lot of time in my day to sit down and put my thoughts to paper SO with the wonders of technology, here I am.
No Pulitzer Prize winning articles here just my random thoughts, experiences with my children and my husband and memories of my life, jotted down. Not that I have had an exciting life but I have to admit, there have been some very unique and amazing coincidences throughout my life that I have been told, (Remember Kevel?), would make a great book.
So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy my ramblings. I hope that they make you smile, maybe make you think, show you that true love does exist and that with faith, you can make it through absolutely anything.
No Pulitzer Prize winning articles here just my random thoughts, experiences with my children and my husband and memories of my life, jotted down. Not that I have had an exciting life but I have to admit, there have been some very unique and amazing coincidences throughout my life that I have been told, (Remember Kevel?), would make a great book.
So, sit back, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy my ramblings. I hope that they make you smile, maybe make you think, show you that true love does exist and that with faith, you can make it through absolutely anything.
Volunteerism and Children
I had the opportunity this week to volunteer at a local food pantry. The great thing about it was I was able to take Melissa (18), Candace (17) and Nicholas (12) with me. In the beginning I wasn't exactly sure how well this would work out. I mean, to be honest, you never know what type of people you are going to be working with. Admit it, it's everyone's fear to be standing next to a person that looks as if they are homeless, someone doing community service or a trustee from the local jail.
Myself, it isn't something that has ever bothered me. I was blessed to have been raised by a Mother that always taught me and my brothers to have emapathy, not sympathy, for those that have had to travel a tougher road than the one we traveled. It was by the grace of God that we, as children, didn't end up homeless.
We worked hard on Monday. We were there for over 4 hours. Standing, carrying cases of food, packing boxes, cleaning, etc. It was much more than what I expected and I wasn't sure what the children's feelings were going to be about the day.
At one point I turned to see Nicholas, working along side a mentally disabled adult and having what looked to be a pleasant conversation. He later told me that he wasn't too sure what they were talking about but that the gentleman was smiling and that was enough for him.
When our time was over we gathererd our things and came home. Nothing much was said that night about our day. I chalked it up to the kids being tired. Today though, all three of the children asked me if we would be going back to help. I told them that I would be and that if they wanted to, they could come back with me. Surprisingly, all three said they wanted to return. Our sweet Candace said, "I want to help. I want to make sure that kids in our town get everything that they need."
As parents, we focus so much of our time on our children's school and homework, on their sports events and while that is all imporant, how often do we sit down and take the time to explain to them how important it is to give back? I think, as parents, we are all guilty of that. Life get's so busy we forget about making it a point to teach our children just how blessed they are to have the things they have. No matter how little they think that is, there are always those that have much less.
I know for my family, the last 6 years have been the toughest. We have gone without. We have lost and we have struggled. We still have not come out of that valley BUT still, we have more than so many others. Our blessings far out way what we don't have.
That said, if you ever have the chance to volunteer for a oragnaization that gives back, get your children involved. You never know just how much they are being touched. Don't take for granted that what you say is making a difference. Most of the time, it is what they see us doing that makes the bigger impact.
Myself, it isn't something that has ever bothered me. I was blessed to have been raised by a Mother that always taught me and my brothers to have emapathy, not sympathy, for those that have had to travel a tougher road than the one we traveled. It was by the grace of God that we, as children, didn't end up homeless.
We worked hard on Monday. We were there for over 4 hours. Standing, carrying cases of food, packing boxes, cleaning, etc. It was much more than what I expected and I wasn't sure what the children's feelings were going to be about the day.
At one point I turned to see Nicholas, working along side a mentally disabled adult and having what looked to be a pleasant conversation. He later told me that he wasn't too sure what they were talking about but that the gentleman was smiling and that was enough for him.
When our time was over we gathererd our things and came home. Nothing much was said that night about our day. I chalked it up to the kids being tired. Today though, all three of the children asked me if we would be going back to help. I told them that I would be and that if they wanted to, they could come back with me. Surprisingly, all three said they wanted to return. Our sweet Candace said, "I want to help. I want to make sure that kids in our town get everything that they need."
As parents, we focus so much of our time on our children's school and homework, on their sports events and while that is all imporant, how often do we sit down and take the time to explain to them how important it is to give back? I think, as parents, we are all guilty of that. Life get's so busy we forget about making it a point to teach our children just how blessed they are to have the things they have. No matter how little they think that is, there are always those that have much less.
I know for my family, the last 6 years have been the toughest. We have gone without. We have lost and we have struggled. We still have not come out of that valley BUT still, we have more than so many others. Our blessings far out way what we don't have.
That said, if you ever have the chance to volunteer for a oragnaization that gives back, get your children involved. You never know just how much they are being touched. Don't take for granted that what you say is making a difference. Most of the time, it is what they see us doing that makes the bigger impact.
Happy Birthday Matthew Joseph
A little over 7 yrs ago Craig and I traveled to a small farming community in California to meet what could be our new son. As we drove up to the small home in the middle of a cotton field my stomach filled with butterflies. I was excited but at the same time scared at what may lay ahead.
We were told that this 18 month old little boy couldn't or wouldn't talk and at this young age was filled with rage. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that at such a young age, he had rage. What were we doing? Did we want to bring this type of child into our home? All I knew is that, even with all the questions and fears I had, I needed to meet this little person.
As we walked through the front door of the modest farm house, there stood the most beautiful little blonde boy I had ever seen. I remember thinking, "How could someone so angelic looking be so angry? The Social Worker must be wrong." Within minutes though, I was given proof that everything we were told was true.
As I sat down on the floor to introduce myself to this little boy, he looked at me, screamed as if I had hit him, threw his bottle at me and ran and hid under a nearby table. UGH! My heart broke and I immediately wanted to leave but something inside of me, God, told me to stay and leave my heart open to Matthew.
Our first visit with Matthew was very disturbing for me. I couldn't see him ever wanting to be my son. I couldn't see how we were going to be able to give him the help that he needed but at the same time I was picking up the phone, calling his Social Worker and asking him to do whatever he needed to do to bring Matthew home to us. Had I gone insane? The Lord assured me though, that I had not. A week later my little 'Angel' came home to us.
That first night I soon realized that there would be many sleepless nights and days full of screaming, crying and frustration. As the weeks went on, I didn't know if I had it in me to change this little one. I didn't know if he would ever allow me to love him. Again though, The Lord assured me that in time, Matthew would bring us 'joy unspeakable'.
Matthews adoption was finalized in 2003. While we can reminisce of 'what was', it is now as if we are talking about a different child. He is a different child. The little boy that once had no light in his eyes, now has eyes full of joy and love. When Matthew looks up at you with those big bright eyes and tells you that he loves you, not only can you see it but you can feel it. Yes, there are days when his problems can overwhelm me and days when I wish he couldn't talk but when the day is done and I look into his face, I can't imagine my life without him.
While his hair color has changed and he has grown, he is and always will be my Little Blonde Angel.
Happy Birthday Matthew Joseph.
We were told that this 18 month old little boy couldn't or wouldn't talk and at this young age was filled with rage. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that at such a young age, he had rage. What were we doing? Did we want to bring this type of child into our home? All I knew is that, even with all the questions and fears I had, I needed to meet this little person.
As we walked through the front door of the modest farm house, there stood the most beautiful little blonde boy I had ever seen. I remember thinking, "How could someone so angelic looking be so angry? The Social Worker must be wrong." Within minutes though, I was given proof that everything we were told was true.
As I sat down on the floor to introduce myself to this little boy, he looked at me, screamed as if I had hit him, threw his bottle at me and ran and hid under a nearby table. UGH! My heart broke and I immediately wanted to leave but something inside of me, God, told me to stay and leave my heart open to Matthew.
Our first visit with Matthew was very disturbing for me. I couldn't see him ever wanting to be my son. I couldn't see how we were going to be able to give him the help that he needed but at the same time I was picking up the phone, calling his Social Worker and asking him to do whatever he needed to do to bring Matthew home to us. Had I gone insane? The Lord assured me though, that I had not. A week later my little 'Angel' came home to us.
That first night I soon realized that there would be many sleepless nights and days full of screaming, crying and frustration. As the weeks went on, I didn't know if I had it in me to change this little one. I didn't know if he would ever allow me to love him. Again though, The Lord assured me that in time, Matthew would bring us 'joy unspeakable'.
Matthews adoption was finalized in 2003. While we can reminisce of 'what was', it is now as if we are talking about a different child. He is a different child. The little boy that once had no light in his eyes, now has eyes full of joy and love. When Matthew looks up at you with those big bright eyes and tells you that he loves you, not only can you see it but you can feel it. Yes, there are days when his problems can overwhelm me and days when I wish he couldn't talk but when the day is done and I look into his face, I can't imagine my life without him.
While his hair color has changed and he has grown, he is and always will be my Little Blonde Angel.
Happy Birthday Matthew Joseph.
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